Exit plan from pornville and onanism (Part 1)

Porn

It’s amazing how a simple conversation can birth many issues. I recently wrote a post on Pornography and Masturbation, you can read it up here. It was supposed to be a research but I didn’t think I’ll be writing a sequel on ways of living above the addiction. At the end of the research, I realised the addiction to Porn and Masturbation wasn’t just the regular addiction of going to rehab but it was a jail sentence, incidentally many people are bound by it and it’s tearing people apart and destroying lives and families. I decided to speak to a few people who I know have been through it and have won the battle. Amazingly one of the pastors, (who’s in charge of the Youth Church of my local church) I wanted to speak to concerning it, did an extensive teaching on Addictions in church that day (talk about God orchestrating everything). I have taken his permission and I’ll be sharing it.

I’m sure you’re wondering if a pastor’s teaching on addiction can be beneficial, well after a research I found out his teaching was in sync with that of a psychotherapist, so let’s get on with his message.

Porn Recovery

Pastor Wilson

 He started with how a medical doctor and a university lecturer died as a result of smoking; he kept on asking why people will let addictions prevent them from fulfilling their destiny. I’ll modify it since the message was originally for the youths. Before we proceed we need to agree on what an addiction is. Addiction can’t be mentioned without habit; habit is what  is done repeatedly whether positive or negative, once the habit gets to the point were you can’t control it, an absence of it brings about sickness; you suddenly become dependent on it, that’s a clear indication of addiction. He was addicted to Masturbation and Sex but after becoming born-again, he lived free through the Holy Spirit for 5 years until he got married. Romans 6: 16 “Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?” When we can’t control our actions, we become slaves to that particular action in this case porn and masturbation. He admitted winning the battle was difficult but it’s possible.

Ways of breaking free

  1. Identify the addiction : – Stop living in denial, many people give excuses why they are engaging in it and can come up with phrases like ‘I can stop when I want to’.
  2. Acknowledge it is destructive to your life.
  3. Tell someone you respect, sin thrives in secret.
  4. If it’s beyond your ability and the person you’ve spoken to, seek professional help.
  5. Go to God in prayers (This is only for Christians). He said this is the most effective but least used. Get your scriptures, confess it repeatedly, and stay in faith. He shared the story of a pastor who started smoking at 13 and was addicted, he grew up in church even went to Bible college but continued smoking. One day he came across a scripture Mark 11:22-23 and started confessing it; for every time he confessed it, he smoked the more but he never stopped. After 3 months he was going to class in Bible college, God told him to tell his teachers in class to pray and lay hands on him which they did, nothing extra-ordinary happened, he went back to his dormitory and the urge came over him again but when he lit the cigarette, an awful smell he couldn’t tolerate over-whelmed him and he felt like throwing-up, that was his last stick. It’s over 20 years and he has never tasted a cigarette.
  6. Replace the old habit with a profitable habit, nature abhors a vacuum. Matt 12: 43-45 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.’’
  7. Get accountability partners. It could be a friend who you trust and won’t run you down but will help you through the journey. Give them the right to ask you any question or rebuke you when necessary.
  8. Avoid every opportunity for the addiction to thrive, create barriers. There are some softwares you can install on your electronic device to prevent porn sites, they include but  not limited to the following, http://www.cyberpatrol.com, http://www.cybersitter.com, http://www.netnanny.com. He gave an instance when he travelled out of the country and in his hotel room he stumbled upon a porn site on TV, he found himself torn between viewing it (after all no one was there with him, no one would know) and changing it, Glory be to God he changed the channel and found out he had the same channel in Nigeria but didn’t know cos’ of the time difference. By morning he called his wife to report himself and asked her to call the Satelite company to delete that channel from their subscription.
  9. Be patient, the addiction was cultivated over a period of time; it’ll be difficult to end it immediately. (Remember the pastor who kept on confessing for over 3 months).

I hope this blessed you as much as it did, the day the message was preached. The beauty of this message is, it cuts across all forms of addiction.

N/B: I have testimonies from people who have won the battle over the addiction of porn and masturbation, I’ll be putting it up next week by God’s grace and if you want to have your story shared you can send me an email at ccogbogu@yahoo.com. It’s a collective responsibility and we’ll win this battle with the help of God.

I am pretty excited at the post coming up on the 21st of April, Easter Monday. A story of a young man who will be sharing his story on drug abuse. .  He recently rededicated his life to God; he’ll be sharing his transformation weekly with us. Easter Monday represents Jesus’ victory over death. I’m trusting God to minister through that post.

LOADS OF LOVE

JMAD

Loads of Love

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Rooting for the devils; just believe

The past weekend was really fun in some way; some activities entered my book of firsts while some got me laughing real hard. I ended it by spending the evening with a family I respect so much. Here’s the funny part I’ve always seen my aunt as really prim and proper just picture an image of the Queen of England (now you get my drift). I had heard she loves football but never really seen her watching any of the matches until yesterday. OMG!!! She was screaming and jumping up, you have no idea how the sight felt. She’s a Man Utd fan but was rooting for Wigan to beat Man City, she already told her 8 year old daughter and 6 year old son to start praying for Wigan, for some funny reason her daughter took to her side while her son said no, and even prophesied an 89th minute goal by Man City. We all know how inquisitive kids can be, her daughter asked why and she said Man City is our enemy and we are the Red Devils, the little girl started binding and casting when she heard devil (I don’t blame her at all) well her mum had to explain what she meant. While she was rooting for Wigan (which was indirectly for Man Utd) she told her husband just BELIEVE, incidentally it’s the slogan for Wigan and it felt ironic but at the same time appropriate for the game.

Red Devils

It felt ironic cos the devil always comes to counter what we believe as Christians  isn’t it why the temptation of Jesus was tied to His belief as the Son of God. We are one month away from the end of the first quarter of the year; some of us have started off with the plans we made for the year, some are in the pipeline while others are scared to start off cos the plans look overwhelming. I went through a similar phase recently, I had this thought of starting off a little fellowship in my office but it had never been done before I was going to be the pioneer and I was scared so I shoved it aside. I’ve been serving in the Youth Church for over 16 months; recently I was asked to join the teaching department. I was excited but after our training I was scared (whatever I said to them had the potential of affecting their lives), my heart probably sang the national anthem from the beatings on Saturday night. I finally got to class and was fidgeting, gave out my Bible to a student who didn’t have and when I tried to unlock my phone to use the Bible I entered in wrong password twice cos my hands were shaking *smh.

keep-calm-and-believe-in-god-18

In the midst of all that I kept on reminding myself it wasn’t about me rather about God and whoever He calls He definitely equips the person, after a few minutes I was relaxed and the class was interactive and did I mention we had our first fellowship in the office on Friday. You know the devil’s tool is doubt, many of us have amazing ideas but we are scared to step out. It may not be starting a fellowship, it could be business, furthering your education, starting a school/NGO/Skills Centre, applying for contracts worth millions etc and we all get stuck in planning without execution. When I stood before those young people the devil kept on throwing in doubts, will I be able to pass any message to them, will they understand me since I talk fast, what if I’m asked a question and I don’t have the answer, but I remembered it wasn’t about me. Truth is I’m still learning I don’t even have the answers to all of life’s questions but I choose to trust God to come through for me every step of the way.

While rooting out the devil from our plans we have to believe God and trust Him. Are there plans you made and they look way too big for you, you’ve tucked the idea under all your books in fact you’ve buried it, here’s a little advise so long as it’s a good plan you’ve got to go dig it up and start again. You may have to go back to the drawing board to re-strategize, we were not created to just exist, don’t be another world population statistics, you were created for more. Question is, what is your goal, if the plan doesn’t work, change the plan with the goal still in perspective.

N/B: I enjoyed the game on Sunday and I’m thinking of the club to join although I already have an Arsenal JMAD crested jersey at home, so I’m open to recommendation.

LOADS OF LOVE.

 JMAD

The journey of 2013 – Akachi’s story

This post got me laughing all through. It’s so honest, unedited but in the midst of it all she still finds a way to bring in humour. Akachi and I went to the same secondary school (F.G.G.C. Ow) and we serve together in the Youth Church of Family Worship Centre.

Akachi

Oh hey,hi there *had no idea the camera was already rolling…and this is the story of countless number of people who 2013 must have taken by surprise for the most part…sigh* Back to my intro! That pretty girl on that picture you just glossed over is I, yours truly Akachi Chinwendu Nwoke *yeah feel free to run back and stare properly at the picture but don’t lose focus lol* I am the Creative Director of a makeup outfit originally born out of joblessness, it’s called Visages Parfait Makeover (please go to http://facebook.com/visagesparfait for more info), and I am extremely grateful to God for birthing her through me three years ago, because we have come a looooong, rough but glorious way *smiles*

Back to 2013 *sighs* JANUARY started like every other year, filled with dreams and hopes and different aspirations that I was sure would come to fruition by Dec. You know, get a well-paying job to compliment my makeup stuff, get in a relationship and hopefully get married, mooooove out of my parents’ house *pwheew*, get my international or local ECOWAS passport and at least travel out na, even if its Ghana, Cameroon or Uganda *stop laughing at me joor ,it’s well* I really stepped into this year bursting with energy. Fast forward to MARCH, my 1st heartbreak, the guy left *stay on this blog & you’ll get the full gist, the day I finally opened up to give my girlfriend Amelia the full gist, I can swear her jaw hurt for days because it kept dropping lol* Same month, I cancelled on a lot of my clients in order to go for a competition in Las Gidi (Lagos), well to cut the story short, it was another heart breaking experience. So I was man broke, money broke and biz broke 😦

For lack of space, let’s just fast forward to DECEMBER *still in a yay or nay mood though, I must confess* I didn’t get married this year obviously..ah ah, you ma for don hear am na lol. I didn’t get the civil service job I was hoping for..kai e for make sense o. Yes my dear, thanks for reminding me, but NO, I no even cross Benin Republic border 😦 So what really happened in my 2013? Well, my God stayed faithful, I still had massive fun in church and outside *i sha discovered Yogourberry this year, yes,better late than never hehehe*,I travelled to different parts of Nigeria eventually and God ensured my safety. I am still alive and healthy with every member of my family intact *Who is like this my God?* I also must not forget that you are taking your precious time to read my write up, I already feel like a celeb joor lol, thank you very much 🙂

Finally,I…. *oh, the camera is off? now, now, now? Na wah o* (And that’s the way life is,like play 2013 has come and practically gone. May 2014 not catch us unawares 🙂 ) Ciao mes amies *honey hugs*

Tomorrow may never come.

He was on her laps all day while she stroked his hair; he got lost in the cozy atmosphere. That was the position he took and he kind of got used to it, forgetting you can’t take coals in your laps and not get burned.” She said, The Philistines are upon you, Samson! And he awoke out of his sleep and said, I will go out as I have time after time and shake myself free. For Samson did not know that the Lord had departed from him” Judges 16 vs 20 AMV

This is a scene shot between 1050BC – 1000BC; I’ll give you two contemporary scenes shot in 2013AD. I’m sure you can relate to it.

SCENE 1

For some funny reason I’ve been experiencing some favour while travelling. On two occasions, I got to the airport 10 – 20 minutes before boarding and a little smile got me a seat. Well I tried that this year, got to the airport at about 9.10 a.m. for a 9.30 a.m. flight and got the shock of my life; The counter had been closed for boarding. Did I mention people were still boarding? You know it’s easier to take the news if the plane had taken off but to see it right in front of you, Oh Dear! I turned to a professional beggar, brought all my smiling tactics to the table, you know how ladies can instantly transform their faces to that of a baby, I did all that and it didn’t work on the guy. I needed to report to the office that day and that was the only flight available. By now you already know I missed the flight.

IMG_9150
How can this smile be resisted? lol

SCENE 2

I serve in the Youth Church and we’ve an intercessory prayer every Sunday from 6.30 – 6.45 a.m. and it’s compulsory. I’ve never made it to church by 6.30 but I usually get there by 6.40 a.m. and I start to run like someone practising for the next Olympics (Even on my heels). Thankfully I always get there a few minutes before 6.45 a.m. Well I kind of got used to that and it was working for me, until last Sunday I did the same routine and by the time I got there the prayers had ended and this is the love talk I got from my asst. co-ordinator “Chijioke, you know I love you, but you can’t serve today, every other person that was sent home last week was truly sorry too”. You don’t want to know how I felt.

In the scenes above, you’ll notice something. I had been doing the same things over and over again and it had been working but it didn’t make it right. You may just be like me but the difference is, your rope may be shorter and the consequences may be worse than mine. For as much as I took another flight the next day and I’ve another opportunity to get to church early, you may not have the same experience. Yours could just be the last opportunity and there won’t be time to change. Samson thought it was same ole same ole and we know what happened to him. Have we taken the Grace we’ve for granted?

We can relate this to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. He shall come like a “thief in the night”. This simply means at a time you’re not expecting Him. We may never know the exact time the thief will break into our home but we can secure our homes, same applies to our walk here on earth. We shouldn’t just get used to Mercy and Grace; therefore choose to live our lives anyhow.

Tomorrow

I may never know what you’ve been doing and getting away with but there’s an All Seeing God who knows it all and He’s asking you, how long will you continue? Take out time today, do a self-evaluation, and like I always say have a “Me” time. Be honest with yourself, come to think of it, you’ve lived a lie to the whole world; the least you owe yourself is the truth. Today if you read this post do not harden your heart. Tomorrow may just be too late.

Life

If you need to drop some habits, then go ahead and get rid of it. If you need to let go of your old way of life, then we could say this prayer together.

“Dear Lord I thank You for today. I’ve finally realised I’ve been on the wrong path and I’m sorry for shutting You out of my life all this while. I receive forgiveness through the Blood of Jesus. I am new in You and my life is meaningful. I thank You for Your Dear Son Jesus Christ and the price He paid on the cross for me”.

Enjoy your new life and build yourself up through the studying of the Word and join a good Bible – based church. See you on the other side.

Loads of Love.

JMAD.