There Has Been An Assassination

      Story has it someone was recently assassinated. I haven’t confirmed the authenticity of the story but I’m hoping you could help me out. Wondering who was gunned down. Hmmmmmm I’m thinking too, just like you. It’s not yet trending on twitter but I can tell you it’s trending and topping the list in our heart. Now you ask who’s the assassinator and the assassinated.

    Let me paint a picture and it will help you answer the question. Ever been disappointed by a friend , did something really nasty to you, may or may not be aware that you’re upset because you never brought it up (I’m sure you’ve remembered one sorry I meant many). The thought of it now just takes you down a road you’ve tried to erase. I’m sorry about that but don’t we all have that one road in our heads we like to put a detour sign.  Anyway  back to the picture painting. You’re upset and somehow in a conversation with a close friend you bring it up and it takes over the conversation and you talk about that person as though you were in a therapy session. I’m done with the picture .

   Therapist   Ever heard of Character Assassination? You know what, for every time you discuss a person behind their back all in the name of letting someone know you were hurt you’ve just assassinated someone’s character.

     Can I tell you a secret? Yes I can see your eyes light up and your antennas searching for signals. I was so good at character assassination until I got a devotion from Encouragement for Today and I knew instantly I was guilty. For every time I told a friend or a relative of something that was done to me wrongly, something didn’t feel right on the inside. I wasn’t sensitive enough to know what the ill-feeling was all about. I though by telling someone I would feel better. A typical example. I’m hanging out with a group of friends and suddenly someone goes what’s up with you? You look kinda moody and trust me to get a sympathy party I go blah, blah and blah again on what friend A did to me. Everyone starts to dissect the issue on the table and mind you it’s my side of the story they all know and the person isn’t given a fair hearing. Instantly a label is placed on that person.


    I wish I was alone in this but truth is if you can be just a little honest with yourself you’ll find yourself in my shoes right now. Interestingly I came across this verse Matthew 18 vs 15 “If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately” (AMP). Did we notice the key words in bold. I can’t remember reading call your friends or ping them, call for a family meeting or even your pastor. All these other people are all important for mediation but come in when the person doesn’t listen to you .

     We can’t ignore the fact that we’ve been hurt by people or even hurt other people. I can’t promise you, you’ll have a hurt free relationship with people. Disappointments, hurting feelings will come , human beings are so uncertain and the body we live in is still very weak. Have I been hurt before yea, so many times and have I hurt people? I’ll probably lose count. My dear what you should be concerned with is what you make out of that hurting situation but going around with the story is a no no it doesn’t help and will never. Many people have been ruined by this. It has crept into the fabrics of our lives and its tearing people down from homes to the office and even in the church, this attitude can be seen. Eph 4 vs 29 “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift” (MSG) The discussion you are having is it helping the person? Most of the time the person may not know you’re upset meanwhile we’ve already stripped them bare in front of our friends.

  xter assasination 

Can we take a stand to get rid of this attitude? We can all say this prayer together. Dear Lord I’m sorry for all the times I pulled people down with my tongue. Please I ask for Your forgiveness and pray that with my mouth I’ll build people up. May my tongue be an instrument of peace and not war. Amen.

Like Jesus will say “Go and sin no more”.

Loads of Love.



I AM NOT………………………….

Just saw a movie a while ago. I won’t bore you with the details but something struck me. Here was a TDH (thanks to my big sis Toun for telling me what it meant) guy , intelligent, your take home to momma kinda guy, a pilot and did I mention rich (Yea it matters oh) but ……this is the point where the accolades stop. He was an alcoholic which eventually caused his license to be revoked. Here’s something I noticed he never admitted to having a drinking problem, secretly he would try to empty his house of every trace of alcohol by pouring it down the sink and all but before people he never admitted it. He eventually owned up to it and became sober but all this change happened behind bar.
Prison Bar

By now you are getting my drift. So I ask what’s that thing you say I AM NOT but you can hear your conscience screaming at you it’s a lie oh just like the cat.


Now let’s all pause and do a one minute silence session and listen to what’s been said on the inside. Time up. Now I ask what did you hear? Truth is we tend to think, admitting to an addiction or a problem shows a weak side of us. On the contrary it’s actually a sign of strength. Some of us reading this will be like I’m not addicted to alcohol or the other relatives (we all know the popular cousins and brothers) so this isn’t for me. Just hold it, at least it’s better to be addicted to alcohol that’s really popular and many people have been saved from it so one can look to such people for help. Now to you the “holier than thou” who doesn’t drink but slanders with your tongue, what do we do about you? We can get rid of alcohol temporarily by shutting out the supply but we can’t cut off your tongue (Ouch didn’t mean it to come out this bad)

Can we just be honest with ourselves and admit to our hidden addictions. Here’s a little secret the enemy will do everything to stop you from knowing. Once that addiction is exposed to Light it loses it stronghold over you. The procrastination is eating you up. The best time to start is now. There’s a lot embedded on the inside of you don’t let a “but” to be associated with you. Look for someone who you can be accountable to, a close friend, mentor, pastor, or a specialist in that area. Someone you know who won’t try to make you feel less of yourself but will walk with you through the healing process. That’s the first step to healing. I can’t promise it will be a bump – free ride but the end result will keep you on course. And above all seek the Holy Spirit’s help for when we are weak His strength is made manifest. Your healing story will transform so many lives. See you on the other side.
Loads of Love


Ever experienced at home, in the office, in a gathering or anywhere else something needed to be done and a particular person comes in, and everyone goes Yea!!! (I’m excused to use my name) JMAD is here and she’ll handle it. Yea, guess you’re thinking now and a particular name pops up in your head and you’re remembering your last gathering and it was time to cast a vote  and everyone unanimously voted the person.
You see, many people always think such people are super-humans or in Igbo anwu-anwu. Truth is there’s a lot of pressure indirectly on such people and subconsciously they become perfectionist.

Perfectionist Scale
Perfectionist Scale

  Now you see what you’ve turned them into *smh. These super-humans are the ones everyone runs to for counsel. You know, that your friend is having issues in her relationship she calls you up, that friend of yours is stranded financially he calls you up, a sister has a nightmare guess you can complete her next line of action and so many other scenarios you can relate to. Everyone seems to think you have it all figured out in fact you could be referred to as a “life google” that has all the answers but hey we forget something and like T.D. Jakes puts it “Sometimes the superhero needs to be saved too”. That person we run to all the time could have relationship/marital issues, financial challenges sometimes and even have a dream where a lion is holding a gun and pursuing him/her (all na nightmare).

    You know, I can relate to one of the characters mentioned. To a large extent I like to have everything figured out and always want to make sure it’s done excellently well. God now blessed me with a boss who’s so detailed and in my quest to get it right so he won’t complain I get to push myself that I literally wrote in my book “Chijioke go through every document more than once”.

imagesCAP06QV0Am I perfect yet? No. In fact made a mistake a while ago and I instantly had a rise in temperature and a headache and was just upset and a friend said I’m only human. Yea in the words of an actress on E! “that’s a true story”.

Truth is no one ever gets to that point of perfection. I can hear my faithful bible scholars asking what of Matthew 5 vs 48 “Be ye perfect just as Your Heavenly Father is”. I’m not a theologian but did a little research and found out the Bible wasn’t originally written in English rather in Greek. So I think we all need English – Greek Dictionary (lol). Anyway Perfect in that context in Greek means Teleios which is translated to Mature, Complete. So you can go back, read it and understand it better. Perfection is not always realised but it must always remain the goal which leads to constant improvement.

imagesCAY3LREPIt’s a lofty idea but here’s a little secret instead of trying on your own to get to the point of perfection just turn to Our Ultimate Helper the Holy Spirit for help. If you fall under the crowd that’s always pointing at someone (supposed perfect) or going to someone for help why not aspire to be one people will point to for help. At least you would have left the crowd and become a stand-alone and if you ask me it’s one great achievement.


Whew! I’m finally here. Thank God for friends who push you and eventually get you off your comfort zone.
There’s a little something I felt I should share because many of us even reading this now are asking the same question HAS HE REALLY HEARD?
I played mum to my little cousin over the weekend (A shout out to all the mothers who visited us in boarding school and even kept them waiting under the sun) I’m prostrating. Anyway I had to pick up a book for her from the market with my very faithful cab guy. Apparently some guys/touts had done an all night prayers for someone to fall prey and yea I was an answered prayer for them (don’t even know who they prayed to). They blocked us in front of the market that the car wasn’t registered with a particular area council. My dear it wasn’t funny. Obviously they needed some money either we part with five thousand or the cab gets impounded in their office which is another story.
I had to become a professional beggar to the supposed “boss” who by the way had bleached fingers, really big stature and was wearing a wannabe ladies neck piece. At the end of the experience I parted with Three Thousand.
I kinda felt good that I didn’t pay the entire sum only to get to church on Sunday and after lifting holy hands the sermon came and GBAM!!! It hit me. A lot of places where read on bribery and how it cuts short our lives (Prov. 15 vs. 27b). Then the condemnation sets in. You know that condemning voice that keeps on ringing out loud in your ears. I felt really awful and asked God for forgiveness but you know what I immediately wore a sullen countenance that clung to me as I went for the second service. But in that state a verse popped up on the inside 1st John 3 vs. 20 “Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything” NLT.
That changed everything and that answers the question YES HE REALLY HEARD. You know we are in the Second month of the year and made a couple of resolutions and plans. Probably habits to drop and somehow down the road we find ourselves doing those things we had decided to stop and we feel let down and guilty. Truth is we all get to that phase once in a while. Question isn’t if God will forgive rather are we willing to forgive ourselves?
Just like me I messed up, no two ways about it but I’ve equally received forgiveness from God and I’ve forgiven myself too. I urge you to do same and walk guilt-free with your heads lifted up.
Have a great week ahead.