If you knew?

It was a Saturday morning, while doing my laundry I remembered I had a couple of fabrics with my tailor. I immediately put a call to him, hoping to get a date to come pick up my completed clothes. A little digression, I have this loving relationship with my tailor; Morris. We’ve had this thriving relationship since 2010 (It’s unusual to keep a relationship that long with tailors). I haven’t been able to patronize any other one in my city. In the midst of the many disappointments with tailors he has managed to keep ours hot with his creativity.

But on this particular Saturday, Morris wasn’t too excited on the phone, his wife had had a miscarriage a while ago which I was aware of but was having some complications coupled with the unending bleeding. I had never heard Morris that scared before, in his words “Madam CJ, I don’t want my wife to die”. She needed a surgery and he wasn’t able to foot the bill, while he was running off the phone to go raise the money something prompted me to help. I sent some money, he wasn’t expecting it cos’ he didn’t ask me for help (thankfully I already had his account details). Oh!!! he was excited when he called me that evening, thinking back I think he was both stunned and shocked.

I was already looking forward to hearing from him that his wife was back home. On Tuesday I had a language exam, just finished the first part and waiting for the next stage. I get a notification on whatsapp “I have lost my wife, she died on Friday last week. May her soul rest in peace IJN”. Oh dear!!! I instantly felt angry and then empathy for Morris and his cute 20 month old son. I was angry cos’ I knew how much he tried to save his wife. I remembered the fear he had of loosing her. I remembered all the money raised to perform the surgery. I was silently angry at God He didn’t help her. In the midst of all of those emotions I hear my silent question “If I knew she wasn’t going to survive would I have still helped him”?

Me before you

I have often wondered why a family would keep one on life support even when the doctor has said the patient is unresponsive, why a mother would go the extra length to give birth to a child the doctor has said doesn’t stand a chance of survival as a result of a health condition. I saw the movie Me before You and I could see how much Will’s parents were willing to give their son the best after his accident. “I will never, ever regret the things I’ve done. Because most days, all you have are places in your memory that you can go to.” I am reminded of Little Kenny that united people of different tribes and religion.

I’m typing this post at 3.00 a.m and I just had my me-time where I talked to God. I have finally allowed myself to feel the loss, to let out the tear and to tell God thank You I was able to help. Truth is we all get to this phase in our lives. You invested a lot in a business a relationship or even the health of a loved one. Probably sleeping in the hospital and in most cases on the floor cos’ there was only one bed and you wake up one day and find out he/she is gone. I can never know how you feel but I know you made a change in the last days of the person, you gave hope, you often cracked a joke and even in the pain felt, a little giggle was heard. If you’ve lost someone I pray God comforts you in a way no one can, I pray you find the courage to grieve and not bottle up your emotions and I pray your strength will be revived in Jesus Name. And like Morris said “Many thanks, may God reward you for your support. You’re truly a God sent”.

Loads of Love


Photo Credit : Google Images

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