Volcanic eruptions

I saw him every morning, greeted him and even worked with him but my heart was always pounding each time I spoke with him. Often times I was successful at ignoring the increased heart beats, other times I just spoke to myself that everything was alright but I knew I was lying to myself. I battled within myself that my actions were right, I searched all through to know if I had said anything wrong and I just couldn’t find anything. I felt justified but… I remembered, if your brother has any grievance against you, leave your gift at the altar and go make peace. And so I started my long walk to peace with him, after all the back and forth questions and responses of I’m Ok from him which I knew wasn’t true the ice was finally broken…I have anger issues, WHAT!!!. I had even insulted him the day we had a little misunderstanding. A little digression, I had come to work that day really upset at the killings of the students in a Federal School which led to the post Blood in our foundation. Everyone should have known I was upset, I mean these are innocent lives we are talking about not to talk of the abducted young girls, people should have just steered clear my path cos’ I was like molten magma waiting to be erupted.

Volcanoe

I am pretty sure you are shaking your head at my outburst; I’m equally shaking my head vigorously at my action. Here’s me speaking to myself, you are not the only one going through stuff, the world shouldn’t stop cos’ I’m upset, no one should be made to suffer cos’ of my state of mind. When he told me I had anger issues, I felt horrible not cos’ I thought he insulted me rather I had allowed anger define me. I internalised a lot in the past whenever I was upset, realised it wasn’t healthy and I started writing to pour it all out on paper which helped a bit but I  realised for every time I got really upset I was giving people the luxury of controlling me. No one is perfect, I can’t control people’s attitude but I have power over my response to them. After that episode I apologised and became more conscious of my reaction to people especially when we are on two different frequencies.

Words

We are in a world where everyone wants to have their way, drivers are basically getting people killed on a daily basis cos’ it’s their right of way, in order to drive their point home to the driver who overtook wrongly, they refuse the driver getting back on the lane, this ends up in an accident leaving a woman with her 3 kids dead, he said something really disappointing, he has apologised but cos’ your feeling was hurt, you throw away an amazing relationship. I experienced a 007 stunt on the road with a driver who was at fault but when the other driver refused to accept the apologies, my cab driver was getting ready for a fight.

Trigger

Can we just take a chill pill? Decisions are made on the spot without thinking of the consequences, words are fired out forgetting they are like bullets, and once the trigger is pulled it can never be recalled not even after fulfilling its purpose. Let’s be more conscious of our words and actions. Everyone has one issue or the other, we don’t need to carry it on our forehead and make everyone pay for it. I’m hoping my mouth will be like a mountain bubbling with blessings, encouragements, corrections laced with love looking for whom to shower it on and not one filled with curses or actions that will send someone jumping off the cliff.

LOADS OF LOVE.

 JMAD

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5 Responses to Volcanic eruptions

  1. Dave says:

    I love this.

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  3. bethelli says:

    Totally lost it 2day Watching the NEWS! Its been long I cried this way, but seein vivid pictures as these … I CRIED. I made some happi calls … yet was so depressed! I resort 2 jmad (as I hav a history with her terapy sessions (H/Spirit breathed posts)). But this post was totally the opposite of my personality. I am a vry very defensive fellow & if I offend people often its always as a response. Most times its the silent treatment, as I watch my boss or colleague raise their voice, report me, try so hard to piss me off etc. After all silence is golden and the best answer (2a fool). They try to make you look foolish you return the favour, but then outsmarting them at their game is not always right. But God spoke 2 me … even my supposed IN ACTION (silence) is an ACTION. And sometime the result far worse than verbal or evn physical reactions. What is more vital is being a BLESSING 2 people. I read this post… thinking how many people in a day do I encourage, cheer up, smile up, laugh up… ACTION (or inactions) that erupt 4rm spontaneous DECISIONs is essentric to what this year is trully ALL about… Indeed its a YEAR 2 please d Lord. May God richly bless ur heart Chijie… (ow! did I 4get 2mention hw beautiful jmad luks) … a 1000descriptive expressions wrapped in 2words… SIMPLY BRILLIANT! Keep it up Chijie… I am ur FAN 4lyf! Amen!

    • JMAD says:

      My dear I’m still in shock at the news, I got really paranoid going home yesterday. For everytime I passed a bus park I got really scared, my eyes were darting all over the place (suspicious of everyone) but I know God isn’t asleep. Now to the matter of silence, I was like that but the truth is after keeping quiet and concealing a thing, they all go pile on the inside and one day a little spark will ignite the fire. Does it mean we should confront everyone who annoys us, No. There are times when we just choose to overlook a fault not cos we are not upset but we’re maturing and we’ve realised it’s really not worth our joy. Thanks for the compliment (I blushed while reading it). It’s always a delight to read your comments.

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