Growing up we were taught to keep quiet while eating but for some funny reason lunch has become a place for meetings or chats. A few weeks ago while having lunch with my colleagues a topic was brought up and we kind of had a divided house, some agreed it was ok to indulge while others disagreed. I hate ignorance and half-truths; I decided to do a little research on my own as well as a questionnaire to get different opinions. So let’s cut to the chase.
For the benefit of others I’ll explain the two terms; Masturbation is the manual stimulation of the genital organs of yourself or another for sexual pleasure while Pornography is the explicit depiction either in writing, pictures or films to stimulate sexual desire. Incidentally I came across the word Onanism as a synonym for masturbation, I’m sure the name rings a bell for Bible scholars Gen 38:9 (Tradition demanded Onan to bear children with Tamar his late brother’s wife and he didn’t like the idea, so he spilled his semen on the ground when he slept with her) while Pornography was derived from the Greek word porni (prostitute) and graphein (to write) was originally defined as any work of art or literature depicting the life of prostitutes.
But whose business is it if I choose to pleasure myself or view some magazines or see a movie. I decided to do an opinion Poll with a few friends; some married, single, male and female and these are some of the responses:
Akachi – So on the surface, absolutely nothing is wrong with masturbation and watching pornography, I mean, it’s just me giving myself some desired satisfaction just how I like it, when I like it no fuss! There is no blood transfusion involved, no semen and no exchange of saliva or whatever else is involved with having sex with a second, third or fourth party it’s just me, what could be wrong with that? Does the act of masturbation and watching porn come from a pure thought? When I’m done with the act, does my spirit leap within with shouts of praise to God?
Judith – Masturbation could be disgusting when one achieves sexual satisfactionby touching his/her self while on the other hand it’s a form of sexual stimulation for ladies who have different levels of sexual satisfaction. Pornography is ok if it’s viewed by couples to improve their sexual performances.
Tony – Masturbation brings about imbalanced emotions, inferiority complex towards the opposite sex and can lead to addiction. Many men are fighting it but will never divulge it except there’s real intimacy and trust between their partners to confess it.
Ogenna – They’re both wrong, porn is just a bus to masturbation or fornication.
Nnedinma – For any form of sexual satisfaction outside marriage is wrong, it shouldn’t be self-acquired either.
Ngozi – When one walks with God masturbation is a sin against one’s body. He didn’t intend for us to pleasure ourselves that way, that’s why He made male and female. It brings thoughts of sex and the urge to act upon it. We need to understand how God intends for us to enjoy sex, anything outside is a deviation.
Femmetotale – Masturbation makes people selfish about sex, more interested in getting pleasure while sex should be more about giving pleasure.
Adannaya – Porn has helped in sustaining marriages that lack good sex and it reduces the chances of cheating although it’s a sin cos people who engage are as good as fornicators.
Nnezi – They are demonic cos they are perverted and away from what sexuality means in the Biblical sense.
Now we’ve heard a few let’s look at it from another angle. Some religions have this to say, Islam The Qur’an 24:30 states “Tell the acknowledging men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts, for that is purer for them. God is fully aware of what you do” It is haram (forbidden) to expose your private parts. Christianity Matthew 5:27-28 ‘You have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart’. When we are viewing porn or masturbating what thoughts are in your head? Judaism Traditional Jewish laws of modesty require Jewish women to be modestly dressed: so pornographic modeling and pornographic acting are forbidden for women. The (halakhah) states that sexually arousing images are normally to be avoided.
Psychologically during porn viewing, the brain releases a tidal wave of endorphins and other powerful neurochemicals like dopamine (which helps in the transmission of signals in the brain and other vital areas), norepinephrine and serotonin. These natural “drugs” produce a tremendous rush or high. Someone said watching porn is like swallowing a pill that induces hunger after you have eaten. It traps the person in a vicious cycle of never ending desire, exhausting the person’s body and mind. It rewires the brain.
Medically I found out masturbation helps in relief through ejaculation, eases tension but I equally found out it lowers sperm count resulting in impotence.
As a kid I viewed some porn magazines but I had to hide to view it, in fact growing up it was a taboo if you were caught watching a “blue film” (wonder why it was given that name) but all that has changed now. We are all exposed to porn either through music videos, on magazine stands, adverts on web pages, chat rooms. The truth is everyone is stuck with this outbreak; the only dividing line is choice but what of our little ones. An interview with a former pornographer said he always had Viagra on hand for the extra assistance needed to perform as the scenes became more technical to shoot (and this broke me) ‘most of the female actresses are all damaged (e.g. histories of sexual or emotional abuse). In a 2004 testimony before the United States Senate, Dr. Jill Manning shared some interesting data regarding pornography and relationships. In her research she found that 56 percent of divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites. A 2012 survey of porn actresses showed 79% of porn stars used marijuana, 50% have used ecstasy, 44% have used cocaine and 39% have used hallucinogens while an ex-porn star said men and women in pornography do drugs cos they can’t deal with the way they are being treated.
I could go on and on with the shocking information I got on this topic. I wouldn’t want to impose my opinion on you but let’s not forget the following –
- Most porn stars have previous cases of abuse.
- Sex was created to be enjoyed between couples within the confines of marriage, masturbation creates an illusion of personal satisfaction which may seem harmless but after a period of time guilt sets in after each act.
- Porn has been attributed to the cause of 56% cases of divorce.
- Porn stars are usually induced with drugs to enable them perform in such ways which isn’t normal, expecting your partner to act in such way without the drugs will leave you disappointed, besides you can’t look at two porn stars and think if you touch me the same way we’ll experience sexual fulfilment, we are all wired differently.
- Wives who found out their husbands viewed porn felt betrayed.
- Porn addiction isn’t easy to erase, if you are addicted to nicotine you can go through rehab or detox but with porn it’s different. The images are already registered and a thorough renewal has to take place. A lot of sexual violence has been attributed to exposure of porn.
- Are you a man viewing porn? If the tables were turned would it be upsetting to see your daughter as one of the actresses? Some women think it’s dehumanising.
- You may think viewing it is harmless but with each click you’re enriching the business, giving the producers more reasons to scout for more actresses and life’s a circle.
Guess this is the longest post I’ve written so far, I hope you got something out of it but above all, whatever we find ourselves doing, we should always remember to do it to the glory of God.
LOADS OF LOVE