An open letter to the men

A few weeks back a member of my team proposed to his girlfriend; we were excited to hear the entire drama that led to it (you know ladies just love drama especially when it has to do with engagements), he was on his knees for more than 4 minutes, his girlfriend was shocked and couldn’t give a response immediately meanwhile he was nervous with his knees shaking while he prayed all the prayers he knew in that little moment. Did I mention this took place over dinner in a restaurant with inquisitive eyes staring at them, thankfully she said yes… Somebody shout Halleluiah.

For some funny reason we tend to forget the stress men go through to ask a lady out, pop the question, be a husband to his wife, a father to the children, a dedicated employer or employee. We were taught to see them as Knights in shining armour overtime we don’t realise they are constantly on their toes trying to fit into the pre-determined mould the society has made for them. Men don’t cry causing them to have a shell they recline into, they find it hard to show emotions especially when they are going through trying times after all, they are supposed to be strong anything outside it is a sign of weakness.

I’ve seen my dad sacrifice a whole lot just to see we are comfortable and the crazy part we still expect so much more. Someone was upset why we have lots of plans on Women Empowerment and nothing on the men, initially I found it funny but a close look at it shows we are neglecting the boy-child. A girl is brought up to look forward to marriage hence she’s given the right coaching and all meanwhile the boy is brought up to be strong forgetting he could be strong, make so much money but like a Pastor said ‘A man is a failure who succeeds at everything but fails as a father and a husband’.

We may not always say it but I represent a whole lot of females out there and we appreciate all you’ve done and still doing as a brother, friend, father, husband. Sometimes our pride prevents us from admitting it but we do need you in our lives just as you need us in your lives too. Ladies let us be more deliberate in showing our appreciation; they secretly wish we say Thank You for fixing the car, changing the light bulb etc.

Hope I don’t get into trouble with the ladies for this but then again for any lady to exist there has to be a man who fathered her.




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25 Responses to An open letter to the men

  1. Damilare says:

    wonderful thoughts…

  2. tessadoghor says:

    I am thankful for all the fathers in my life.
    They have contributed hugely in making me who I am today
    Both my fathers in the faith
    And my fathers at the university who struggled to impart knowledge
    If I never said ‘thank you’; today I say thank you for everything.
    I don’t know what I would have done without
    Even though my earthly father has been less than perfect, I still say, ‘thank you dad’
    And to the ultimate role model, my heavenly Father
    Thank You for guiding my steps to good fathers.

  3. elchyko says:

    very good read. feels good to see a woman lending an honest voice.

  4. E' says:

    It is a serious matter ooo before they ask us out… Aku m was practically shaking while on his knees and after I said yes and he got up, first thing he said (after exhaling lol) was ‘…I am never doing this again with any other girl…’ Now this was someone with whom I had wedding plans oooo. Why he was scared amarom? Lol And another point you raised is the fact that we best not be putting all the focus on the girl child that we forget the boys. Nice post. And of course we ‘preciate our men esp when they do the HARDWORK lol E’

    • JMAD says:

      Aku m Aku m. He’s definitely not doing that for any other lady, his parcel has been sealed, signed and delivered infact it’s been unwrapped too. Yea we need to focus on the boy-child too. Thanks my charmer

  5. Femmetotale says:

    I like this. We ladies are often so caught up in our own little worlds that we forget they are as human as we are too. They have emotions, fears and doubts like we do. The only difference is that society doesn’t permit them to express their emotions as openly as we ladies can. So ladies, when next ur putting pressure on a man, remember Jmad’s open letter to the men and guys aren’t u lucky u have at least one lady on ur side today 😉 lol…this is a reminder to me to be nicer to the men in my life. Good job as always, Jmad!

    • JMAD says:

      My femmetotale….. Yea they do have emotions, fears and doubts too. I’ve been given many names regarding been a feminist in fact my colleagues crowned it all yesterday by calling me Womandela (Mandela) that I like to fight for women a lot. Well guess this post shows the other side of me. Thanks for your input.

  6. bijoy says:


  7. Kaycee says:

    Ohhh Dear!! You just made my day….I had this discussion couple of weeks with some friends and being that they were all ladies I was not able to convince them but the fact remains I confidently stated my point..I’m so happy this is coming from a lady.

  8. I chuckled at a couple of the comments. This is a noteworthy post Jmad, laden with truth.
    Thank you for contributing to the sensitization process towards catering for the boy-child’s development and needs.

    Bless your heart.

  9. adejour says:

    I think we can rightly say as men that “we are loved”. Thanks for also reiterating the importance and dependence of both sexes in our world today where we are becoming gender bigots(gay,women right,etc under what ever disguise).

  10. chi chi says:

    That was good

  11. Nnanna says:

    Nice way to relax…your works are always refreshing.

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