When does cheating really start? Before you answer the question, I’ll paint two scenarios and they are both true stories.
In 2008, I was an Intern in one of the Oil Servicing Companies located at the same area with similar companies. We always looked forward to our lunch break cos’ we’ll all step out in our coverall and safety boots; the days we didn’t feel like eating in the staff canteen we either strolled to get bole(roast unripe plantain) and fish or get some other food from a restaurant. I had this particular friend who we knew back in the University and we always had some catching up over lunch particularly on his married female colleague. They always exchanged lots of SMS on a daily basis (sweet nothings) her husband knew my friend and even when he went visiting at home they still exchanged SMS. As at then they hadn’t slept together.
I’m working on a project with a group of people including a married man. He picks interest in me; cos’ he says I’m smart, I’ve nothing to fear besides he’s a Holy Spirit filled man, we have intelligent conversations but I start noticing his handshakes were going beyond the elbow (was I just been paranoid). He calls me for a meeting in his office and the meeting turns out to be nothing serious, just asking personal questions (red flags are flying), like Gbenga put it inappropriate. I quickly divert the questions and leave the office.
You know, I have often wondered how two people who couldn’t stay a day without each other in the past suddenly become strangers or a faithful partner is caught cheating on his wife or husband. We often think the cheating is when they end up in bed but I beg to differ. The cheating didn’t start on the bed rather a long time ago, a hug may have triggered it, an SMS or even your smartness without knowing you find yourself drawn to the person. You start to confide in the person, you’ve issues with your partner and you pour it out to the person he/she starts to advise you on what to do and in your subconscious the person becomes “perfect” cos’ of the brilliant advise been given to you. Am I saying you shouldn’t confide in anyone? We can’t do without speaking to someone its human nature but we need to know when to draw the line, if you ask me I think it’s better to confide to a same sex (for people like me who have more male friends I’m learning to speak more to females for my own good).
It’s a rule in a church I know, for all the male pastors to travel out of town on assignments with their wives. Do they adhere to it all the time? I don’t know, but the authorities in charge know one thing; the third leg in between the legs isn’t born again, it has a mind of its own. A book I read a while ago advises male pastors to have a counselling session with their wives present; another church propagates male to male or female to female counselling. You may be wondering why the church will go through the pains of putting such laws in place, it’s simply because no one is exempted from sexual sin, not even the pastor or the head of the prayer team.
I’ve heard so many stories why single ladies prefer dating married men, some say they are more mature and we forget marriage made an “immature man” mature but this is the one I heard that got me laughing real hard, a married man told me he’s the one to prepare me for my husband stating the taste is in the pudding *smh*.
It’s a tough world out there; often times we get so mad at our partners and the slightest compliment from someone outside will make us fly on eagle’s wings but let’s not forget they’ve not always been annoying. Siblings still fight once in a while but it doesn’t change the fact they are siblings. Let’s not run into the arms of a total stranger who’s willing to put a smile on our faces for a few minutes or days and give up on our partners who’ve walked with us through the storms of life.
LOADS OF LOVE