Friendship between the married and singles

When does cheating really start? Before you answer the question, I’ll paint two scenarios and they are both true stories.
In 2008, I was an Intern in one of the Oil Servicing Companies located at the same area with similar companies. We always looked forward to our lunch break cos’ we’ll all step out in our coverall and safety boots; the days we didn’t feel like eating in the staff canteen we either strolled to get bole(roast unripe plantain) and fish or get some other food from a restaurant. I had this particular friend who we knew back in the University and we always had some catching up over lunch particularly on his married female colleague. They always exchanged lots of SMS on a daily basis (sweet nothings) her husband knew my friend and even when he went visiting at home they still exchanged SMS. As at then they hadn’t slept together.
I’m working on a project with a group of people including a married man. He picks interest in me; cos’ he says I’m smart, I’ve nothing to fear besides he’s a Holy Spirit filled man, we have intelligent conversations but I start noticing his handshakes were going beyond the elbow (was I just been paranoid). He calls me for a meeting in his office and the meeting turns out to be nothing serious, just asking personal questions (red flags are flying), like Gbenga put it inappropriate. I quickly divert the questions and leave the office.
You know, I have often wondered how two people who couldn’t stay a day without each other in the past suddenly become strangers or a faithful partner is caught cheating on his wife or husband. We often think the cheating is when they end up in bed but I beg to differ. The cheating didn’t start on the bed rather a long time ago, a hug may have triggered it, an SMS or even your smartness without knowing you find yourself drawn to the person. You start to confide in the person, you’ve issues with your partner and you pour it out to the person he/she starts to advise you on what to do and in your subconscious the person becomes “perfect” cos’ of the brilliant advise been given to you. Am I saying you shouldn’t confide in anyone? We can’t do without speaking to someone its human nature but we need to know when to draw the line, if you ask me I think it’s better to confide to a same sex (for people like me who have more male friends I’m learning to speak more to females for my own good).


It’s a rule in a church I know, for all the male pastors to travel out of town on assignments with their wives. Do they adhere to it all the time? I don’t know, but the authorities in charge know one thing; the third leg in between the legs isn’t born again, it has a mind of its own. A book I read a while ago advises male pastors to have a counselling session with their wives present; another church propagates male to male or female to female counselling. You may be wondering why the church will go through the pains of putting such laws in place, it’s simply because no one is exempted from sexual sin, not even the pastor or the head of the prayer team.
I’ve heard so many stories why single ladies prefer dating married men, some say they are more mature and we forget marriage made an “immature man” mature but this is the one I heard that got me laughing real hard, a married man told me he’s the one to prepare me for my husband stating the taste is in the pudding *smh*.
It’s a tough world out there; often times we get so mad at our partners and the slightest compliment from someone outside will make us fly on eagle’s wings but let’s not forget they’ve not always been annoying. Siblings still fight once in a while but it doesn’t change the fact they are siblings. Let’s not run into the arms of a total stranger who’s willing to put a smile on our faces for a few minutes or days and give up on our partners who’ve walked with us through the storms of life.




A 4 day internship on cuddling

A survey was carried out to find out the relationship between stimulation and physical development; two sets of babies were placed in separate rooms. In room A the babies were constantly cuddled, fondled and fed while the babies in room B were just fed and had their diapers changed. At the end of the period, the babies in room A looked healthier than the ones in room B even though they were fed the same amount of food.
I travelled home for my baby brother’s dedication and I had a four day Internship on caring for a baby; at some point I had to bathe him (1st time ever and he’s barely four months old), I wish all I had to do was bathe him. There were days I stood for more than an hour just carrying him, he definitely loves the touch of the human body cos’ whenever I kept him on the bed he let out a tiny cry or woke up if he was sleeping, Oh!!! How I sang all the songs I know from “Onye mere nwa n’ebe akwa to rock a bye baby” I even formed beats with my mouth just to get him to sleep. In the midst of all this I remembered my dad’s story; I was still a baby then and he had to watch over me while my mom was on a night shift, he said he managed to get me to sleep in his arms but every time he kept me in my cot I yelled out (I literally had to ask my brother if it was payback time).
Parents 2

Did I enjoy my four days of Internship? Definitely yes but it got me thinking. This is just one child, how did our parents cope? Some mothers had children who weren’t up to a year old and gave birth to another child so technically they had two babies to cater for. It’s amazing to see babies grow and become teens and adults, but more interesting is the point our parents try to advice and correct us and we fall out with them.
Parents 1

There are some of us out there who are not speaking to our parents cos’ of the reason giving above, no mistake about it sometimes we are right but is the reason good enough to tear us away from our parents. Even God cited the love a mother has for her child while trying to explain His undying love for Israel Isaiah 49 vs 15. I may never know the extent of the misunderstanding between you and your parents but it’s time to go home and make peace. I’ve seen my mom correct me, honestly I didn’t like those periods but looking back now I realised it was all out of love.
Parents 3

Am I saying it’s going to be easy? NO, but it’s worth all the stress and crazy heartbeat. Get your mom or dad a gift to start with and call them up. Maybe they’ve never called you since you left home but you were constantly on their minds. There’s a blessing attached with honouring our parents. A whole lot may not make sense to you now but trust me the moment you hold your own child in your arms, your perspective about life will change and you’ll realise, you who couldn’t forfeit a slice of bread for someone wouldn’t mind giving one of your kidneys if it ever gets to that to make sure your child lives. May God strengthen you as you do this.



N/B : Onye mere nwa n’ebe akwa is an Ibo folk song used in pacifying babies.

Photo Credit : Google

#JusticeforLiz: Save us from the animals

I’m getting scared by the second. Who’s next? From 4 year olds to adults, this isn’t a case of provocative dressing, a beast is on the loose; roaming the streets and no one is immune to its attack. This is a collective action. Please sign the petition, let’s start with the Policemen and the culprits in Kenya.

Fairy Godsister's Blog

Apparently this happened about a week ago but I came across this story today, and I had to share.

















Why did I sign the petition? No where in the world is cutting grass a punishment for gang rape. The men should be charged and punished for rape and attempted murder because they left her to die. They are animals and should be locked away for life. Or castrated and given bits of their penises to eat till they die.

You can sign the petition here, and please say a prayer for the young girl whose innocence has been snatched by these animals.


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