Stripped at midday

Rape

Time-check 1.30 a.m.; the sound of the footsteps I’ve grown accustomed to for over 3 years. The first time I heard it, I thought he wanted me to get something for madam since she was pregnant but it turned out oga needed my back-side. He opens my door and I immediately grab my wrapper above my chest with a sleepy eye, I murmur good morning Sir; with a stern face grabs my hand and says if I utter a word he’ll strangle me, I was totally confused. My mind flashed through the day’s activities, I couldn’t remember breaking oga’s favourite drinking glass; I ironed his shirts well and placed the hanger in the exact position madam instructed me. While I was still lost in thought, he drags me up, switches off the light, with my back against him his hands went for my pants and while I tried to struggle he hits me hard on my face; his right hand grabs my mouth and with his left hand he holds my fragile waist and I feel something enter my anus.
This was the beginning of my nightmare. I couldn’t tell anyone; after all they were my “Messiahs”, my father is late and my mother lives in the village, I’m supposed to be the child living in the “city”. I eventually summoned up courage and told (mama) madam’s mother, she warned me never to mention it again.
This isn’t just another make believe story. This is a true life experience by a house help I’ll call UC. My friend and I sought professional help from an agency handling such cases. Investigations revealed two other relatives of the men were sexually molesting her too. Oh!!! We cried; thought our battle had ended only to hear the charges against the men were dropped; the men said she’s an adult and it was consensual.
My dear UC has been stripped of her panties in the dark but on this day SHE WAS STRIPPED NAKED AT MIDDAY by the lies of these men.
Today is celebrated as the United Nations International Youth Day with the theme “Youth Migration: Moving Development Forward”. The youths are recognised as one of the most mobile social groups in the context of migration. UC is one of such migrants; moved from her village to the city with the hope/promise of a better future. Did I mention, she was neither enrolled in school nor empowered with any skill acquisition all the time she lived with the family.
I have a few questions: –
• Is there no law for such cases i.e. house helps?
• Are we saying those men should be walking the streets free without justice?
• If a young lady above 18 is raped, can the law address it?
• Do we have homes where ladies especially house helps, who have been sexually abused and are above 18 can be rehabilitated?
The house helps are a minority group and they are voiceless. They can’t go on Twitter and tweet #househelpnotsextoy, publish a post on a blog or share a video on YouTube. Plans are underway by the agency to unite her with her family in the village.
These are my fears: –
• What seed are we sowing into the society, if she doesn’t go through some form of rehab?
• What lesson is she taking with her, when the society through the law couldn’t defend her?
• Who do we blame tomorrow, if she becomes a sex-worker?
Let us all remember “The woman is the only source of life to the world, once she’s defiled, everything coming from her is defiled too.”

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18 Responses to Stripped at midday

  1. Boliuma says:

    It will continue until we all stand up against this evil they will remain voiceless.

    • JMAD says:

      Yea and how can we go about it? We can’t take laws into our hands. We need an enabling environment to address it and that’s where the law comes in.

  2. Taniz Makeover says:

    I wonder y men knt do widout sex

    • JMAD says:

      LOL because its fun and they were wired that way but the issue is applying self-control.

      • There is sex and there is sex. Not all sex is fun that’s why we have some categorised as Rape or sexual abuse. It breaks my heart when I read stories or hear of such. Funny things is,this happens everyday and no one does nothing about them because these girls like you said are voiceless. I like the idea of having a rape centre or rehabilitation centre. I wish a lot could be done. Already establishing the offence of rape in our courts is already very impossible. We need to start from there. The law is too stiff.

      • JMAD says:

        Thanks for your input, so what can be suggested since the law can’t possibly help now.

  3. Eche Moneke says:

    There’s a very thin divide between consentual & forced sex. Some men believe the lady in question is consenting because she isn’t fighting him off without stopping to think that she isn’t fighting him off because she’s scared of his reaction if she tries to. When stories like this one is told, it brings to the fore the utter neglect the girl child suffers especially in this part of the world. The girl-child molestation will not stop until beasts, like the men mentioned, are held accountable for their callous deeds. It goes beyond just rehabilitating the victims because a victim who has been rehabilitated is sure to suffer a sudden relapse if she mistakenly bumps into her molester on the streets. Whilst we push for rehabilitation, there should be a serious campaign for the molesters to pay dearly for their crimes.

    • JMAD says:

      So true and that’s why I’m asking the learned colleagues around, isn’t there justice for rape victims above 18. Its crazy knowing these men are out there, I don’t know how, but they’ll pay for it. Every human being irrespective of social class deserves to be treated right. Thanks for stopping by.

  4. wordsmitch says:

    yea every human being deserves to be treated right, but how many people actually care? most people these days have grown numb, without a conscience….and its fast on the increase. If the law cant handle such, how bout we take laws into our hands by being the defender of the defenseless. Our learned folks cant do much here, without channeling whatever approach through the law that we have just agreed can be easily manipulated. firstly we should put these folks into prayers, cos we cant get in touch with most of them even if we tried. God will meet each of us at the point of our needs. i felt really sad reading this, and even sadder that i cant do anything about it.

    • JMAD says:

      I can imagine how you feel, cos my friend and I kept on thinking even did some things we hadn’t done before (can’t say it here). Truth is, this is a problem and we have been saddled with the responsibility of providing a solution and I’m positive this will mark the beginning of a search to the right approach to such issues. We just never know the spiral effect of such devilish act. God will guide us in the right direction.

  5. Pingback: Stripped at midday | NotJustAny Smitch! the #1 WordSmith

  6. wordsmitch says:

    Reblogged this on NotJustAny Smitch! the #1 WordSmith and commented:
    yea every human being deserves to be treated right, but how many people actually care? most people these days have grown numb, without a conscience….and its fast on the increase. If the law cant handle such, how bout we take laws into our hands by being the defender of the defenseless. Our learned folks cant do much here, without channeling whatever approach through the law that we have just agreed can be easily manipulated. firstly we should put these folks into prayers, cos we cant get in touch with most of them even if we tried. God will meet each of us at the point of our needs. i felt really sad reading this, and even sadder that i cant do anything about it.

  7. This is a prrevalent social problem that has predated the Nigerian and African society at large. In the highly developed countries of the world, stringent laws have been put in place to checkmate this ugly practice. An example was how an attempt by the high and mighty IMF Chief, Dominique Strauss Khan to rape a hotel attendant led to his immediate dismissal from office. The major contributory factor to this problem is the high level of poverty in Africa, a lot of families due to their financial incapacitation see sending out their children as househelps as their only means of livelihood. So even if the government wades in to help this children, how would they feed and take care of themselves when they are finally reconnected with their families. Recently the Lagos state government deported some citizens back to their state and this shows that our government is not interested in Long term rehabilitation. The first step to ending this problem is the creation of a social security system to cater for the needs of the lower class. Furthermore the legislators have to enact stringent laws against the rape of domestic servants and create centers across the federation where cases of molestation can be reported and finally long term rehabilitation and empowerment centers for victims. Thank you for bring up this issue to the fore. I hope it will be solved soon. God bless Nigeria.

  8. tessadoghor says:

    It’s sad.
    Someone I know went public with abuse recently
    and a pastor’s wife had the guts to say she was stupid for going public
    Our culture is really crazy.
    Appearances are usually chosen over reality
    The only hope really is in God and people who have genuine agencies willing to help
    Pray and ask God to lead you. Jesus has all the answers

  9. Pingback: Do I pose a threat? « JmadReflects

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