I lost him


There was this guy who was fond of me. He’s kinda macho; any guy who thought of anything stupid had him to contend with. He would call Munna that’s just a two syllable word Munna-chi-mu-so, yea that’s my sister’s name. He loved all of us so much. He always called to make sure I was safe especially when there’s a bomb explosion. Our home was his home, my parent’s delight.

This guy is my Uncle Isaiah Orji, my father’s cousin. I was in Lagos a few weeks ago; had planned on seeing him but for some funny reason, coupled with the Lagos rain I couldn’t make it and moved the visit to another time *takes a deep breath*. How would I have known my next visit to see him will be by his grave side to bid him farewell. I got a call that he passed on. I couldn’t think straight that night; he’s a young guy, wasn’t sick, and just had a little child who’s not up to a year yet. So many questions!!! Uncle Isaiah will be laid to rest this weekend.

Dear Lord in times like this all we can say is, please give us the strength to carry on and please be a father to his children, husband to his wife, brother to his siblings, uncle to his nieces and nephews, cousin to his cousins and friend to his friends. I don’t know what’ll happen on the other side but I pray we’ll meet again in heaven where death won’t separate us.

I planned on visiting him but let some little issues hinder me. I’m not trying to look for a pity party but to speak to you. I’ll ask you a few questions: –

  • Who’s that person you’ve been planning to pay a visit?
  • Who’s that person you haven’t spoken to in a while and waiting for him/her to call first?
  • Who’s that person who really upset you, but in your heart you want to make up?
  • Who’s that relation you haven’ spoken to for over a year?
  • Who’s that close buddy you’ve shut out of your life?

The list could go on; you can fill in the remaining questions. While going through the list, if any name popped up, please pick up the phone and call or go pay a visit. It may be the hardest decision you would have made in a long time especially if you were hurt by the person. We just never know what tomorrow holds, we are only certain of now and that’s all that matters.

I pray none of us will miss out on quality time with anyone because of flimsy excuses. When our time is up on earth, may everyone who remembers us, remember us for the smile we gave them, the hug, good advice, quality time and love we showed them.

Uncle Isaiah the memory of the time we spent in villa during Christmas is still green, I remember the ride to Umunze, the trip to the bank with my hair net on and how we joked about it, the dance I did near your car and got all those Chiefs laughing, your toothy smile. I choose to remember them regardless of your absence. MAY YOU FIND ETERNAL REST.

I end with the words of “It’s so hard to say good-bye” by Boys II Men

How do I say goodbye to what we had?

The good time that made us laugh

Outweigh the bad……………………..

To be my sunshine after the rain

It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday




Please don’t judge me


Met this guy the other day and we instantly heated it up. There was no doubt; the chemistry had covalent bonds and in less than two weeks he invited me for a trip to Malta (how did he know I’ve been dying to go there) *doing back flips and azonto in the air*. I look forward to the journey. Please don’t judge me.

I love to see porn, it gives me some great ideas; I usually put up some pictures on my display picture too. God gave me an awesome body; plunging neck line do my great assets justice and those skimpy gowns expose my gazelle legs. Please don’t judge me, God looks at the heart and not the body.

I’ve a thing with words. I love to say silly jokes, especially on Twitter. It keeps my timeline interesting and I have more followers by saying such things. Hey!!! Please don’t go judging me about what I say, God knows the content of my heart.

Have we come across this line PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME? Or should I ask, when was the last time you became defensive when someone tried to correct you and you dropped that line? For some funny reason we practise selective reading. We’ve read in Matthew chap 7 vs 1 “Do not judge, so you may not be judged”. Chambers Dictionary explains Judge as “to point out or declare what is just, to compare facts to determine the truth, to form an opinion”.

Judge 1

Have we noticed, the phrase don’t judge me comes up when someone is doing something wrong and is corrected. Please if anyone has any contrary opinion to what I just said, speak up now or forever hold your peace. When we were younger; our parents spanked us at some point. What were the reasons for the spanking? Wasn’t it because we did something wrong? Can we say parents shouldn’t spank or correct their children simply because they didn’t want to judgemental? Some years back, a friend told me he couldn’t be judged by anyone; therefore he could act in a certain way. He got that information from the Bible where we are told we are under Grace and not under the law but the Word of God is a double edged sword. We can’t just read a part and run with it.

Doctors and lawyers are known by their uniforms so are we when we act or speak in a certain way. Let’s stop giving the devil the opportunity to sell lies to us. Our ultimate point of reference is the Bible. What does it say about our words, actions, dressings, and attitude? I can’t put up two naked people as my display picture and expect anyone to turn a blind eye to it. What message is it passing across?

There’s a thin line between judging (forming an opinion) and condemning. We should know the difference. Does it mean you’re perfect if you judge anyone? No, far from it; but as a person who strives for a closer walk with God, there are things you’ll see and the presence of the Holy Spirit within you’ll push you to speak to the person, not in a condemning way rather out of compassion.

As we step out today, let us be mindful of the lives we live. Remember for you to correct someone, you should have taken out the log of wood in your eyes to enable you see properly; invariably seek to live a life that’s totally sold out to God, focus on Him and every other thing will align towards Him. See you on the other side.



Help!!! My husband is after our grand – daughter.

Crying woman

Sometime ago a woman who had endured the pain of seeing her husband sexually molest their daughter couldn’t take it anymore, when he made similar attempts on the child (grand-daughter) he fathered with his daughter. This is what my people call Alu (Taboo). Here I was thinking this was new, only to read up a similar situation by a Social Worker in South Africa and I quote him “One of the saddest cases I’ve had to work with was a little girl, who was raped by her grandfather. The horrifying twist is that the man had fathered the child with his daughter, whom he had repeatedly raped as a child”.

Over the past few months, I’ve heard so many cases of sexual abuse on children; from the four year old Indian girl who was raped and eventually died to the recent eleven year old orphaned Nigerian who had a similar experience. The era we live in calls for drastic actions to be taken: to safe guard the rights of children.

African Committee of Experts on the Rights & Welfare of the Child (ACERWC), the treaty body established to monitor the implementation of the African Charter selects a theme annually for the Day of The African Child. In 2012 the theme was “The Rights of Children with Disabilities: The Duty to Protect, Respect, Promote and Fulfil”. With the instances mentioned above and many more led to the theme Eliminating Harmful Social & Cultural Practices Affecting Children: Our Collective Responsibility for this year’s Day of the African Child which is commemorated every year on the 16th of June by member states of the African Union. This has been celebrated since 1991 when it was first initiated by the Organisation of African Unity now known as African Union. On the 16th of June 1976 in Soweto South Africa, young people took to the streets in a march protesting the poor quality of education as well as the right to be taught in their language. More than a hundred people were killed and thousands were wounded. This day has been set aside to honour the young heroes who stood up for their right.

Some of the Practices will be discussed below: –

  • Female Genital Mutilation – This is often referred to as female circumcision. It involves surgical removal of parts or all of the most sensitive female genital organs. It is believed that by mutilating the female’s genital organs, her sexuality will be controlled, but above all it is to ensure a woman’s chastity and virginity before marriage and marital fidelity thereafter.
  • Early and Forced Marriage
  • Son Preference – The issue of producing an heir or di-okpara has sent many women out of their matrimonial homes even when they have female children.
  • Virginity Testing and offering of young virgins to priests and children accused of witchcraft.

The question is, how do we step in to eliminate this evil? I went to buy something and this girl walks in, I wasn’t sure how old she was but she looked like a teenager but she’s on the big side. I’ll call her Alice. The guy selling kept on taunting her; calling her biggy and she kept on saying stop it, you know my name. I stepped in and spoke to the guy , when she left he said she has an eight month old baby and she’s only sixteen, out of school and God knows how damaged her self-image is. I ask, wasn’t someone accountable for that little girl whose innocence has been stolen.  When will a law be passed for men who steal the innocence of little girls? The society turns around to speak ill of ladies not knowing some of them were violated early and couldn’t speak up because of society’s perception. What can we do as individuals?


I don’t have the magic wand that can right all these wrongs but educating these children goes a long way to expose them to their rights. Every girl-child has the right to go to school and choose a partner; Mutilation violates International Human Rights, every child irrespective of sex is a blessing from God. Let us all join this course; no one really has immunity. It just could be anyone.

The Day of the African Child came into existence after lives were lost during the protest; please let us not wait for another protest to step in. I’m tired of seeing sad and hungry faces representing African Children. We can change that perception; one child at a time. Start the revolution, enough of complains. Africa is a great continent and her children are exceptional; given the right and enabling environment she’ll flourish.

This picture brings back lots of memories. These are African Children and they are great (Just wondering if I can be spotted out)



What lies beneath?

Apple tree

Looking at that tree, you don’t need a rocket scientist to tell you it’s an apple tree. A friend put up a tweet and I’ll quote him “I judge people by their tweets” and I replied “An apple tree doesn’t produce orange, even if it was grafted, an apple-orange fruit will be produced.

Back in my days in the university, there was this lady I respected so much you know, the type we call Spirit-filled, tongue-blasting, demon exterminator. Yea she was all that but something happened and I lost some form of respect. We had a meeting and there was a disagreement between her and someone and the things she said didn’t go down well with me. I had placed her way above, but in a few minutes all that came crashing down because of her attitude.

We’ve heard so much of the importance of “making a first impression”.  She may have been having a bad day and reacted in that way, but the problem here is, everyone present that day won’t sit around and wait for her explanations. When you’re pushed to the wall, how do you react? There have been countless stories of rape occurring as a result of alcohol and I ask one simple question, who’s to be blamed for the rape: the lady, guy or the alcohol?  Here’s my opinion and like I said MY OPINION (I’ll like to hear yours). I feel alcohol is like a body to enable the thoughts on the inside come alive. Anyone who commits rape and blames it on alcohol is committing another offense of lying. My dear, you’ve nursed the idea ( even if it wasn’t going to be forceful), long before that day.

Guard your heart

The greatest Book of all time has this to say “As a man thinks, so is he” Prov. 23 vs 7, “Guard your heart, for out of it flows the issues of life” Prov. 4 vs 23. I’m going to ask a few questions and it’s for everyone regardless of religion. What’s the content of your heart? Beyond your beautiful/handsome face, what lies beneath? Who are you when your door is closed to the world?

I remember speaking to someone on watching pornography. *Takes a deep breath*. You know, we’ve heard there’s always a good side of everything. Newsflash!!! There’s no good side to porn. You only end up having unattainable expectations from your partner. If you want to stay sane, sever yourself from it.


What do we occupy our minds with daily? When the Israelites were beaten by snakes, God asked Moses to erect a staff, anyone who looked at it received healing. Note the word LOOKED. We can’t take in junk and expect to produce anything different.

Truth is, we may not express all the nasty stuff we have on the inside, but it’ll definitely show up one way or the other. We can only succeed in pretending for a while but we can never be consistent if the root of our old way of doing things is still receiving nutrient from the same soil. You can’t truly change by just saying it or temporarily putting off the little vices. Our change comes from a renewal of our minds. It’s a continuous exercise.

Can we take out time to unveil the contents of our hearts? When something good happens to a friend and we send our congratulations; if our hearts our ripped into two, will it be the same report? Has jealousy eaten you up? No one may know because you are always smiling and you’re always in the picture for every celebration. I learnt something a while ago and I’ll share it with you. You may have a friend who’s got everything going: good job/business, amazing relationship/marriage and all that and somehow whenever you hear another good news a tinge of jealousy wells up on the inside. Here’s what you can do, speak a word of blessing over the person, thank God for the person. This is the secret, whatever you wish someone has a way of coming back to you, and unconsciously you are getting rid of jealousy.

Change your thoughts

There you go. I’m hopeful you’ll start working on the contents of your heart.  May your heart be filled with love till there is an overflow.