My book of remembrance.

Book of Rememberance

As a kid I had lots of diaries, I remember my dad giving me a diary that had perfumed papers and a lock. I so adored it, I took it for an Inter-Secondary school competition, carried it wherever I went and took down notes; felt like a tourist. Down the road I had diaries that contained memorable events, especially dates where someone hurt me. At least it aided my memory.

There has been a debate on what gender the computer should be referred to. Someone said a female, because of the ability to store information and many years later the information can be retrieved. I quite agree. I am good at storing information especially the not so good ones. Therefore anyone who hurt me had a special place reserved for them, it had to take a total wipe-out of my brain to remove the memory but even at that, some tiny fragments of memory may still get attached to a strand of hair. Some years back, if you had a look into my heart, you would have seen many people held bound because of unforgiveness. Funny thing is, some of them may not have known they hurt me, it may have been a casual statement and I clung to it.

Unforgiveness

Over the years God has been breaking me and teaching me how to let go. Am I saying it’s been easy? Definitely NO! There were times I was let down by people I believed in and all I felt like doing was slam their heads into a wall but I couldn’t, I will just vent out on my pillow with uncontrolled tears while on some other occasion I was so shocked at what the person did, a single tear couldn’t drop, I just stared into space in silence. Through it all I’m getting better.

Recently our house-help did something really annoying, I was so upset and I just said I’ll try and be a little mean to him. You know what? I had said that so many times in the past and I never did it and it occurred to me, I was beginning to let go and give people some more chances. Truth is, we say this prayer a lot, in fact we grew up knowing it “Lord forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us”. Has it become a ritual we just say or do we really mean it? If it’s a ritual then you’ve no problem, but if you mean it then you’re shooting yourself in the foot.

Forgiveness

You may be like me or even had worse cases of betrayals, disappointments and all; you’re saying you can’t give anyone another chance. I wouldn’t blame you, I don’t know how you feel and may never know. Truth is, in times like this all we want is for our feelings of anger to be pacified by getting back at the person. Here’s the thing, you’ve been hurt already, and holding onto the hurt is only increasing the pain. Maybe you didn’t have the opportunity to prevent the situation but you have the privilege of deciding what that situation will do to you. It can only make you better or worse. If you ask me, I think you should go with the better choice.

Let go and live. You may have to go back to your childhood memories to start the forgiving process. Bishop T.D. Jakes in his message “Faith to Forgive” said, Jesus knew the importance of forgiveness that’s why He prayed on the cross for the forgiveness of those who crucified Him, so on His resurrection He wouldn’t be held back. You have carried that hurt for too long. It’s time to let it go. If you want to travel far, you’ve got to travel light. Unforgiveness is a truck load; it’ll simply wear you out. It doesn’t end in just saying I FORGIVE YOU rather mean it. Don’t go bringing it up to some other person, leave it buried.

Traveling

I started doing something a while ago. I have a book where I write down all the good things that happen to me. It’s my own BOOK OF REMEMBRANCE. Whenever I feel down, confused or finding it hard to trust God, I flip through the pages. It’s a way of reminding me, if I pulled through then, this too shall pass. When I’m gone, it can be a form of encouragement to anyone who stumbles upon it.

I urge you to tow this path of life. Give room for people’s short-comings besides you ain’t 100% perfect. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” Prov. 4 vs. 23 NIV. Be careful what you let into your heart. The battle of unforgiveness is won there. Go to bed every night with a light heart, if you have to call to make-up before you sleep, be bold and do it. Unforgiveness is a silent killer. May God strengthen you as you take this step.

Loads of Love

JMAD

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10 Responses to My book of remembrance.

  1. NëNë says:

    Awesome post! Daily, I thank God for the grace He has given me to forgive people and not use their wrong doings against them. This gift has led me to a lifetime of unmerited favour and answered prayers by God’s grace. Everyone should ask God for the grace to FORGIVE, it pays.

  2. peace says:

    Ceejay!may d gud lord continue to inspire you.unforgiveness is a burden we choose to carry but at d long run it aint worth d stress trust me.wn am hurt by frnds I do two tins tell d frnd who hurt me,if he or she apologises fyn we move on atleast we aint perfect .in some cases I avoid d person totally y cos I love revenge but as a child of God I hv learnt revenge is of d lord dat is y I choose to stop d relationship wiv d person cos if I dnt one day I wuld find an opportunity to revenge which I dnt like.either u forgive or u forgive n keep away frm d person to avoid further betrayals cos some pple take pleasure in doin dat.

    • JMAD says:

      Thanks Sis. You’ve said it all but you can do some more. For as much as when we are hurt we’ll want apologies but the truth is, it may never come, so dear you’ve got to make up your mind from the outset to forgive and release them in your heart regardless of apologies. Another thing you can pray for them, not a prayer of curses it’s crazy and doesn’t make sense but then again that’s the Christian lifestyle. All the best dear

  3. Bidemi says:

    Nice one CJ. I believe i need to let go of things , because recently i keep getting these headaches by just looking at people who have offended me in the past because the mere sight of them brings the memories all flooding back. A very good example is my house help at home she’s so good at making me upset and i go the whole day thinking about what she has done, but the irony of it all is she has been having her fun all day. I REALLY NEED TO LET GO, BUT ONLY BY HIS GRACE, GOD’S OF COURSE.

    • JMAD says:

      Awww don’t we all have similar experiences? Like I said we may not have been able to prevent them from annoying or hurting us but we can choose how we respond to it. It’s really the Grace of God. Letting go will be one of the best decisions you’ll make. All the best and I’m sure you’re on your way to victory in this area.

  4. Obinna says:

    True words. The sentences sound nice but the reality may be further fetched. Forgetting is an unusual and important part of forgiving. The Grace of God gives us a kind of maturity that is inestimable to executive appropriate acts such as those. We will only keep praying.

    • JMAD says:

      Truth is, you never know true forgiveness until you’ve been hurt and not just hurt by anyone but someone really close. Am i saying it’s a walk in the park? No but we can only depend on God to have the strength to forgive, let go and move on.

  5. Nneka Amaeshi says:

    Jmad, God bless ur heart n inspire u daily. Ds is one area of life dt Christians need to revisit daily. We think we’ve got it right by merely keeping to d 12commandments but there’s still that tiny little hurt we’ve got saved somewhere in our memory n most times we dnt even believe its there until d offender shows up n our countenence n attitude changes.
    Mine ws peculiar cos I had always seen myself as one who never had an issue with forgiving people bcos I try to avoid arguments, quarrels and altercations with people n would rather let them have their way n d final say, I prefer to bear d hurt n take d insults than respond, knowing dt I may be forced to use the wrong word! Little did I knw dt my brain had its own lil’ “book of remembrance” for each person n every hurt is registered against d person’s name. Wen d book gets full with no more space, and d person shows up again with very little offence, my reaction is a culmination of every hurt dt had been registered. And u can imagine wat reaction dt wld be! Scary huh?? Yes!! Funny thing was I never realized it until I almost lost someone I loved. The same person brought my attention to it n I had to start working on myself n dealing/concluding with hurts as soon as they surfaced
    U see, just like Obedience, forgiveness cannot be partial or half hearted! Partial forgiveness is no forgiveness at all. A forgiveness 2day dt turns into hurt 2morow upon seeing d offender is no forgiveness at all. If God ws to forgive us d same way we forgve others, I bet forgiveness wldnt be an issue at all! Its either we forgive or we don’t forgive, there is no fence here to sit on. Bt as christians we knw better than to travel around with a heart full of hurts.
    Till date, wat I do is, I shake my head/cry in disappointment n make up an excuse in my heart for the person knowing that he/she knws no better. That way, its easier to let go of the hurt. Afterall Jesus said” Father forgive them for they knw not what they do”
    As we strive 2wards perfection, may His strength be our strength, Amen!

    • JMAD says:

      Oh dear. You know we are alike in so many ways. I make excuses a lot in my heart for people , you don’t want to know but it has helped me in so many ways. Its easy to preach forgiveness but a different ball game when we come face to face with it. Your thought should be an entire blog (lol). Thanks for sharing.

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