This conversation went on, over the phone.
Jessica : Hey what’s up?
Abimbola : I’m fine and you?
Jessica : I am hanging in,meanwhile heard some gist…
Abimbola : Hmm what gist?
Jessica : You remember Nkem, that girl in our class that had all the guys drooling after her.
Abimbola : Yea I remember her, the hour glass girl.
Jessica : Heard she’s pregenant.
Abimbola : *surprised face* I knew it. That girl looked promiscuous and I won’t be surprised if she doesn’t know who fathered the child.


This conversation took place between two guys in a car.
Obi : Wow did you just see that guy we passed.
T-Boy : OMG!!! He’s so fat.
Obi : Are you saying fat? I’m thinking he’s obesed. I’m just imagining the amount of food he consumes. Lord have mercy.
T-Boy : If I were a girl I will feel insulted if someone like him walks up to me.


Now you just imagined two scenes in a movie. You only saw the hot looking lady who’s pregnant and the “obesed guy” but what you didn’t see is the other side. Nkem is your lady down the road who got molested sexually leading to the pregnancy and the “Obesed guy”, had a near – fatal accident leaving him on bed rest for six months which led to an excessive weight gain.

hold it

Does this ring a bell? How often have we passed judgement on people based on our one sided perception. You kinda know it all more like a “living encyclopedia” that’s got all of life’s set-backs and causes. So for every set-back someone goes through, you have a reason why.

Can we just cut it on the analysis. When someone’s going through a phase it’s not a time to start tracing the dots and start a “You should have done”.. They don’t need that now it may come in handy later but what they need at the moment is a shoulder to lean on and sometimes they don’t need you to talk, just your prescence goes a long way, there are many messages passed on in silence.

A similar scene played out in the Bible John 9 vs 1 – 3 ” … His disciples asked Him Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind? Jesus said you are asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to BLAME. There is no cause – effect here. Look instead what God can do. ” MSG

Is someone you know going through a phase, lend a helping hand today in whatever way. You could call, text or just go there and stare at nothing with the person. You may not solve the problem but you would have succeded in lifting the person’s spirit and given the person a resolve to pass through that phase with strength and vigour. By doing this you’ll be etched on the surface of their heart.


Above all, Our Heavenly Father will be smiling down on you knowing He’s been represented well on earth for you might be the only form of Angel they’ll encounter on earth. Like Jesus will say “Go and do likewise”.

Loads of Love


6 thoughts on “BLAME GAME”

  1. Wow! So on point dear. Its so convenient to judge and blame but when tables are turned, we wish people will just listen to our side of the story and understand. Well said dearie, well said.

    1. Thanks Big Sis. We can see things on a different level when we are on the other side. May we learn to walk a mile in ppl’s shoes before we speak.

    1. So true. We only remain right when we’ve got just one side of the story. You just never know the other information you are missing out. Thanks

  2. This write up really put a smile on my face 2day Really got a new perspective tho I am totally amaized Hw little input cud yield a greater result on a large scale Time and time again God thru U inspires me and am totally greateful Tks dearie U trully mak my world spin wif brilliant colors Jus cant help but smile Sumtims Iam chatized, rebukd, fascinatd etc but on dis day I am so ENCOURAGED Cnt hlp but smile … waitin 4anoda oportunity 2b der 4som 1

    1. Awwwwwwww. I am humbled. I can only say its God who’s doing all that. I’m only an available instrument. Continue to be a blessing . Thanks

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